S'amuser · avec · moi

So this is what I wrote when my friend Scott asked me "what is your goal in life at this point and how do you intend to reach it?"

I put "my goal in life for the moment is to get a goal, decide what I want to be doing and and start going for that right now I am living in I don't know what the heck I want to do lala land. I'm waiting for the ship of choices to take me a across the ocean to my future. the ship isn't in my sights yet, but I already booked the ticket."

Just writing this makes me feel even more lost then I felt before, considering I'm on plan # 3,252,343,234x somewhere I turned and now I'm in the middle of the desert, or a island, or whatever place where you are lost and you walk a hundred miles.

It's funny cause this time last year I was shocking all of you with a entry about Josh, the three day summer fling. Which was immediately followed by my intense four months of dating David, and the six month after that I spent trying to figure out why a Thanksgiving weekend with his family went so terribly wrong. Most of this the reason I didn't make the good grades I needed to, forcing me to move back home and focus more on my GPA. Life just has a way of turning where you don't think it will.

Good things have happened though because of this I get to spend more time with my family, I'm in the best shape of my life and I've grown up a lot. I still have no clue whats next but I can face it better now, unless it's giant spiders, I hate giant spiders!

Hi

it's me sarah jane mcCarron, i haven't change much just when off to college like most of you did, but somehow i feel that everyone else has here at home. and i miss school where there was something to do most times, none of this sitting around that i have been doing most of the summer. i really hate myself for doing but i don't seem to have the motivation for anything else and to top it all off i get up early every morning to do what? nothing. and i get so tired during the day it just sucks. but things look up tomorrow when i start work on the play oklahoma, funny hun? by the way come to the play.

nothing much that is all.

so right now it's about 5:45 in the morning and I am up I don't need to get up at 5:45 I can actually sleep for two and a half more hours! But there is no way that I can get back to sleep since the cold medicine I took didn't knock me out like it said it would and and I it's not like I can take anything now because I might sleep through class and that is just not going to happen. I bet it was the nap I took from 6:00-8:00pm but considering I went to bed at 1:00am I thought that wouldn't matter, guess what it did. *pout* Tonight I will take my happy pill benadryl it's so pretty with the whiteness and and the pinkness and a nice red band in the middle, and it's small so it won't make me gag like the cold medicine did...............and now I'm going to read biology because I have nothing else to do and the lab from is due today (not for eleven hours mind you).

So this is me posting, I guess I haven't done that in a while so I do that now.
Um....I'm good here in Oklahoma and everything. Last weekend my friend Kelly and I went home with our friend Preston and we had a grand old time at his farm sleeping in, staying up late, driving around the country, playing with the animals, and learning how to shoot a 22. My classes are going well and I'm hoping to do well this semester. I miss you all, and hope to visit soon I'm not sure if going home for spring break (which is March 17th through the 25th)is going to happen but I'll keep you posted on what we (meaning my parents and myself decide to do).

I get to go home in two weeks yay!!!!!!

One thing I would like to do is decorate my dorm room. I know that I will leave it in two weeks but I want to feel the holiday spirit and since its not going to snow (to a measurible level) it won't really feel like Christmas. Someone told me this microwave orntament craft that I think is really silly, but I'll still going to do it and make paper snowflakes and chains cause I a dork. At least I'll be a dork with Christmas spirit.

beyond that I NEED STICKERS!!!!!!!
please send me stickers I don't care what they are of but I want stickers. SEND stickers to:

Oklahoma State University
Sarah McCarron
204 Parker Hall
Stillwater OK, 74077

P.S. writing a letter with said sticker would definitely be a plus.

so this has been a slow day:

I went to a cookout for the free food and got a tour of a frat house, they have a room that is quite and dark 24/7 with all thire beds in it.

then watched a smallville esipsode with people till they went to the football game.

then played on my computer till like ten (so for like eight hours)

called someone cause I needed to talk.

then I was just throwing a can in the recycling in the lounge and I noticed someone was there at first I thought it was some one else I knew, so I was all like what are you doing up, she turned around and said she was studying and stuff so we got to talking I she a grad sudent and we talk for a minute then she mentions the I should get some food and water in me and and I'm like okay she sees my dark eyes pale complexion she must have taken a nutuion class and noticed that I haven't eaten that much today I can see that. Well I ask her about it and she says that I look inebriated. Drunk!!!! she thought I was drunk that or high. she went on saying I was glassly eyed and my pupils were dilated and well I was acting drunk. I did my best to try to convince her otherwise but what good is that going to do coming from someone she thinks is drunk. so I just bid her have studying and left. I mean I know I act drunk from time to time but I never really am, just sleep deprived, but really do I act that drunk? this just made me sad.